I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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