Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
