remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Verdict: uncircumcised.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
