Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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