her vagine was all disorganized.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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