his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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