Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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