Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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