you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
