You just made me feel so damn special
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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