WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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