So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
