you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
