i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
