We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will be naked everywhere
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
