That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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