he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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