I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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