lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
