I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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