New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
