I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
