Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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