woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize