didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
