well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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