I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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