I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize