maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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