I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
