Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
