Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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