giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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