I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
