If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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