pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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