He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
