As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
