Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
