K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Did I show you my penis last night?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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