Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
