if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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