Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
