So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
