he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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