You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
