Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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