Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
