I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
