currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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