dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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