Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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