the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
