How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
