I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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