just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
