So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
