there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
