apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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