I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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