i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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