Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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