dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
