Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
