I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
