my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
