that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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