wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this boner is exhausting
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
