Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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