dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
