She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize