singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
As shirtless as possible
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
