i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize