Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
